It’s Monday and I feel less than productive at work… so why don’t we design a few INNOVATIVE ways how WE would have handled Peter de Villiers’ review procedure…
Apparently, Radio Sonder Mense… I mean Radio Sonder Grense is broadcasting a program as from 14:05 SA Time called Loslip, in which the Coaches and their futures are discussed, you can find RSG on the web at: www.rsg.co.za
How would I handle it?
Maybe the way to go is to let the 3 coaches “Tree Aan” (Stand at parade) like a Army Seargeant Major, would have done it.
It works as follows:
- The 3 Circus Clowns would be instructed to “Tree Aan” (Stand at parade).
- They would be slow and told to go fetch a leaf from a distant tree at breakneck speed.
- Gary Gold would come back last and I would say “Die maatjie wil nie saamwerk nie, daar gaat julle weer!” (Your friend does not co-operate, and they would be sent to do it again)… this would happen a few times… and then another few times just for good measure (for putting us through the trials and tribulations of the Tri-Nation shame of 2010)
- They would “Tree Aan” again, brought to attention… and sent to run again because they were out of sync in the manouvre.
- Eventually when they do it in full unison, they would be ordered to do “Open Order March”, “Close Order March”, marched around a bit, double pace…
- When this is done, I would ask “All Springbok coaches, step one step forward!”… Of course they will all step forward..
- I would Shout at them “And just where the hell do you think you are stepping to, Muir, Gold and De Villiers?”, indicating to them that they are not coaches anymore.
Now what would you do?
Maybe sending them on a good “Afkak session” beforehand would be in order too….
After a solid LUKOF (lang uitgerekte kompanie opflok)( a stretched out company punishing drill seesion)
I suggest the following.
Immediately seperate the three of them and commence interrigation, old style.
Electric wires to the Private areas, amping up the voltage to ensure the other two waiting can hear the screams of the suffering PDV.
Then commence with questioning.
1. Who is coaching the team?
2. Why are you talking?
Amping the voltage even more.
3. Who said you can coach?
4. Who said you can talk?
After some questions along these lines, PDV can get a reprieve whilst Dicky is tied to the electric wires.
1. What is rush defence?
2. What is drift defence?
3. What is creative play?
Amping up the volume.
1. Why are you here?
2. What is the names of your wings?
Then a reprieve for Dicky, whilst Gold is tied to the electric wires.
1. What is a ruck?
2. What is offside?
3. What does the words, leave the ball, mean?
Amp up the voltage.
1. What od you understand under the term control of phase possession?
And so this can continue for 40 days and 40 nights.
If Snorrie and his coaching staff’s performance in the last year has to be measured in Push-ups, I recon they owe us about 2 million push-ups each… on a bed of broken glass…
I would handle this differently.
I would start with a good lunch with great wine, followed by port and cigars.
Then I would ask PDV to explain what happened in the last 12 months, and ask him to lay out his plan for 2011.
I would insist on no interuptions, letting PDV talk as much as he liked.
Of course I would be recording this all.
I cannot think of a more entertaining afternoon!!
@ tight head:
Hehe, as long as you publish it word for word the next day.
@ tight head:
Problem is by the time he’d finished the RWC final would be just about to kick off, and nobody would’ve understood a word he said!
@ biltongbek:
Wouldn’t help, he’s got no B@LLS.
@ Scrumdown:
Hee Hee Hee!!!
@ Scrumdown:
Don’t know if you watched the television series Sons of anarchy. There is a guy in there they call “halfsack”.
He got only one b@ll.
There should still be an empty sack…………. now that rings a bell…………..Empty skull.
The RSG program was very disappointing, one thing for sure WE here at Rugby-Talk know more about our game than most of the callers.
10@ superBul:
Yip, it was like Superrugby on a Monday, lots of dimmwitted suckers phoning in…
Freegin hell, the presenter did not even know who the Springbok selectors were, until I mailed them..
Very outdated views about discipline, he should have read Frans Steyns handbook first. 😆
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