For as long as rugby existed, there has been arguments about who is good, and who is better. However, we never argue about who is absolutely rubbish, we all know that, well most of us anyway. So, instead of writing about how good some players are, I have decided to concentrate on the more forgetful guys, the guys that history will NOT remember, and history has some very good reasons not to.
1. “Steady” Eddie Andrews
The biggest thing on this guy’s CV was the fact that he was selected for the boks by Jake White, and then subsequently dropped by the same White. One of the main contributors to the “Light Five” tag that accompanied WP tight forwards wherever they went. It has to be said, he made his debut for WP in 2000 and played his last test in 2006…an incredibly long career for a man with no talent.
2. Owen “Talks the Talk” Nkumane
The fact that he spoke flawless English, was possibly Nkumane’s biggest contribution to the game of rugby. Controversially selected for the boks, and then not so controversially dropped again, before moving on to Supersport, at least, here he is full value while sitting commentating with Bobby Skinstadt on the merits of forward play, something neither of them knows anything about.
3. Ettienne “Lunch Bar” Fynn
I honestly couldn’t even think of anything derogatory to say about this guy…the main reason being, that most of my insults sound like compliments when directed to him. I can’t remember him doing one worthwhile thing, he didn’t even have the decency to get injured. The audacity.
4. Geo “Sleepless on Tour” Cronje
His rugby career is somewhat marred by, firstly a very unsightly beard, and secondly the fact that he allegedly couldn’t stand the smell of some or the other fellow player, who allegedly smelled worse than the boerboelle who shared his house.
5. Quinton “Also Tired” Davids
Seems his most outstanding feature is that he allegedly smells funky, but not in a good way. Also had a very little head, with an even smaller brain, which must account for the incredible amount of penalties and yellow cards he received.
6. Pierre “Die Groot Beer” Uys
The personification of a one-hit-wonder. Burst onto the scene with a loud crack, great fanfare and unparalleled enthusiasm. Was too enthusiastic though, while bursting onto the scene, he stepped on a rollerskate and was never seen again.
7. Solly “Missing in Action” Tyibilika
Never has proving a point been so RASTA! The shaggy flanker was chosen by Jake White to compensate losing Burger with a neigh career ending injury, and to prove that he does not need Luke Watson. The effect was incredible, he was promoted to punching far above his weight, he became famous for all the wrong reasons, he couldn’t handle the pressure, or obviously, the practice either. Last seen floating around Jozi, fuelled by Pappegaai Twak!
8. Ruan “The Experiment” Vermeulen
Yes he is a prop. But he was a flanker, that turned prop, that once again returned as a Number 8, when injuries forced Heynecke Meyer’s hand. History was made, the Bulls’ scrum passed the 1000kg mark against the cheetahs, and for the first time ever, it wasn’t necessary to show slow-motion replays of the action, everything was happening just slow enough.
9. Deon “I’m on TV” De Kock
Represented the Boks on a year-end tour involving powerhouses of rugby Italy and the USA. Was quoted in saying, “When I heard the team announced on TV, I first thought it was another De Kock, I am so excited.” Unfortunately he had a face for radio, and ended his bok career as one of Harry Viljoen’s famous de KOCK UPS!
10. Franco “The Italian Stallion” Smith
One of the most nervous flyhalves in the history of the game, formed part of Mallet’s famous 13 in a row squad, but no-one including himself knew why. Was one of the first post 1995 players to play overseas, because ‘he needed the challenge’. However, how much of a challenge Italian Club Rugby could possibly be, is an open question.
11. Henno “Straight & Narrow” Mentz
Famous for having no side-step, no creativity and no personality. Played for the sharks, played for the Lions, scored a few tries, but who really gives a shit?
12. Danie “Twinkle Toes” Van Schalkwyk
One of the worst centres to ever get a Springbok call-up. This man had nothing in his arsenal that suggested he deserved being a Springbok, except that he played with Andre Snyman in his prime. Useless defender, even worse attacking player and to top it off, kak hairstyle.
13. Kaya “Da Shit” Malotana
The face of transformation in SA Rugby, and probably one of the main reasons everyone opposes it. Was elected to play in the 1999 World Cup, no-one knew him, no-one even heard of him before the squad announcement. Played a blinder against Spain…I think. Retired and became a expert analyst on a SABC rugby show, which wasn’t ideal as SABC never Broadcasts rugby.
14. Casper “Die Spook van Loftus” Steyn
Everyone knew him, and with everyone I mean EVERYONE, except the Springbok Selectors. Had a useful boot, but was a shockingly average player, a Loftus fixture. He was there forever, played an incredible amount of games…but if you can’t remember his face, don’t worry… no-one can.
15. Thinus “Die Minus” Delport
Came in favour as Springbok fullback, played a few games, then got dropped because he is about as one-dimensional as a sheet of paper. Threatened to go overseas if they don’t select him again. Went overseas, and is probably still there, because no-one ever selected him again.
# 29
True but that was probably because of political reasons…
For the same reason Puke got his jumper…old Geo lost his…
Aag old Saint…
I don’t know if this will help, but I reckon you guys are gonna have a good season…
The Sharks however I think might be in for a long one !!!
#31
Politics probably did play a role, but Geo said he wanted to concentrate on farming. Just like my father in law…if he won the British Lottery he’d buy Sun City, Bulldoze it, and plant mielies, because he loves to SUKKEL!
Ek is verbaas geen Bul het my al gegaffel oor Casper Steyn nie…die man was mos amper so groot soos Steve Hofmeyr op Loftus.
# 34
Casper was so paar jaar voor my op skool.
Baie nice ou, maar nooit gedink hy is bestem vir veel groter dinge nie.
Dink sy geluk was dat hy by die Bulle was toe hulle bykans op hulle kakste was.
Het baie punte aangeteken met die skopskoen.
Later by die Pumas gespeel, met hul spandokter getrou as ek reg is en toe uitgetree a.g.v ‘n nekbesering.
30, yes Geo faded when he started to bench-press tractors. Massy Furgusson was his favourite.
Onerb
😆
Almost saw his arse hey …
1. Lawrence Sephaka / Guthro Steenkamp
2. Chiliboy Ralepele / Hanyani Shimange
3. Brian Mujati / John Smit / Eddie Andrews / Deon Carstens
4. Geo Cronje / Selborne Boome
5. Quinton Davidz / Andries Bekker
6. Hendro Scholtz
7. Juan Smith (Before 2007 he didn’t have hands, couldn’t understand why they chose this knock on machine game after game, had some of the worst performances in green and gold, but made his step up after years of chances that wouldn’t have been afforded to any other player)
8. Jacques Cronje
9. Neil de Kock (“te Kak” as he was known in our house)
10. Andre Pretorius / Louis Koen / Jaco van der Westhuyzen (Famous drop goal, what a game he had that day!) / Chris Rossouw (Honorary bugger up Bok) / Peter Can’t
11. Friedrich Lombard
12. de Wet Barry / Gcobani Bobo
13. Jorrie Muller / Pieter Muller
14. Dean Hall
15. Ricardo Loubscher
Ouens, ek moet gou eers ‘n paar van hierdie ouens gaan Wiki…
28 – Tighthead,
Thanks mate always respect your view and also PissAnts.
Yip, if we don’t win these two home games before we travel we are a goner for sure. Cause don’t think we going to win as much on our tour. Far too many good sides we play against. So need to go on tour with two wins and our confidence up.
Saint – fun read, i even recognised over half the players, didnt Finn play for the Sharks for a while.
Still dont rate Kanko and still think he would play better at center, but hey what do i know 🙂
marrag my basies
en
watse k*k gaan nou weer hier aan? 😯
treehugger @ 41
yes hugs
hoe hang hulle?
#43
(phew) moes darem nou SEKER maak ek spel “hugs” reg … blerrie “h” en “j” is mos langs mekaar op die keyboard!! 😉
“and for the first time ever, it wasn’t necessary to show slow-motion replays of the action, everything was happening just slow enough.”
LOL !
Ou snaaksie.
hehehehe
Cant believe you forgot about Jorrie “Golden Hands” Muller and Gus “My dad’s on the board” Theron!
#46
Neither can I, but I seemed to have missed quite a few, was just now thinking of Robbie Brink, Rudolf Streauli, Gavin Lawless, Dean Hall, Robbie “Early Celebration” Fleck, they needn’t have been crap players to have had their names made arse…
Ashly at 43 hahahahahahahahahaha
treehugger @ 48
jy’s sowaar die enigste een wat daai een gevang het!! 😉
ja ou jugs…
Aai, julle manne vannie Kaap 😯
Ash – considering i am blond and learnt my afrikaans from watching Egoli, that is quite a thing. It was very funny tho.
treehugs @ 51
😳 didnt realise that you were NOT afrikaans … and that, btw, is a compliment!!
Nee bliksem, ek wrk nie vandag. Dis 46 grade hier in Graaffies.
Voel soos brooddeeg in n prover.
53@ Pille – Jinne, ek is ook al geslow-cook….. ek het net 2 fans wat die lug rondkarring hier innie kantoor, flippen aircon se kompressor het sy alie gesien….. darem al die aircon ou sover gekry om vir my ‘n split-unit te belowe, nou moet die fokker net opdaag om te installeer…
Verder was ek in die kar gebraai deur die son, Midrand, Centurion, Boksburg en terug kantoor toe….. dis maak moer warm en bedompig vandag.
More het ek ‘n kak dag, eers moet ek Hof toe gaan in Pretoorsdorp om my arme siel van ‘n Tuiningenieur uit te kry op borg… dit sleep nou al amper ‘n week… dan ry ek weer die flippen hele wêreld rond, daarna….
How can there be no Jorrie Muller?
@47 – While you ridicule Gavin Lawless (who I’m not a fan off, but the next point has to be made) he’s probably laughing at you with his record of 50 points in one Super rugby game.
I had a chuckle when i read this blog, eisssssh the faith some have.
Morning my Lions faithful.
I woke up this morning all excited, bright eyed and ready for what the day had in store for me. The reason behind this mood only comparable to waking up next to a goddess of a woman was not because it is a Monday, not because it is Sunny, not because I only have 14 days of work left and not because I know I have cold beer in the fridge. The reason is because I woke up this morning knowing that I get to write about the best domestic team known to mankind and that yet another Super14 is a mere days away from starting. With reasons like that no wonder I walked around Dubai like a stoner who has just won the lottery, i.e. absolutely over the moon and happy but not entirely sure why.
OK, let’s get down to business and see what our boys in red have been up to since we last spoke about them.
The GLRU has undergone some drastic changes with the axe being swung left right and centre. Out with the old and in with the new, the administration changed, players left, some arrived and the goings on within the Union are busier and more hectic that our Presidents bedroom. We shall not get into the full gist of all the drama in the Union but head straight to the main talking point of the whole affair.
Dick Muir, our new head coach and man in charge, came into the scene in drastic circumstances with the reshuffling and reorganization of the Union. HE had some big words and some promising ones, all of which I totally ignored and would rate ol Dicky on the team’s performance come game time, however I did have my own thoughts on his appointment.
First off, the concern of his past – we all have a past being it bad or good and it is what makes us and unfortunately Dicky’s past was black and black indeed, filled with backstabbing fishy people, yes I’m afraid he was involved deeply with those fish breath guppies from Kwa-Zulu Natal.
This is not good but I thought to myself, he did good things with the Sharks and one must remember that they are South African and that currently he is involved with the Bokke camp so we can look past his dodgy upbringing and look at what he has actually achieved rugby wise which is the main thing.
Ok, so from those ramblings we surmise that he is an old fishy boy but one that knows his rugby and is well qualified for the job.
Dicky is also not scared in his approach to the game and does what he feels is necessary to win, this is good and one can only ask that is works towards what is best for the team. Dicky has a tendency to replace players during crucial points of a game because he is a big believer in fresh legs, this can either work for or against you and though I have concerns about this issue and various others as always in the Coach we trust. Say it with me peeps “IN THE COACH WE TRUST!”
OK, enough about the coach lets speak about the team.
The dreaded words have been uttered yet again, those words all Lions fans dread and cry over their beers about, yes yes I know you do not want to hear them yet again. Those words being “Rebuilding” “Plans for the future”, or the ultimate horror “Looking towards the future”. No doubt everything is new and rebuilding is necessary but C’mon, us fans have been following and giving it all to a tam rebuilding for the last 10 years and what we need to really kick start the Union is a trophy in the Cabinet.
This might be the case, however Dicky will have to prove from the start that he is indeed the sh!t as the last SA Franchise in this year’s Super14 competition will be replaced next year by those spear wielding wierdos (not 100% certain of this).
TEAM DYNAMICS:
The big talking point is the arrivals and departures and as happens at airports around the world, departures are slightly sad, teary, sometimes angry affairs but on the whole dull and not too eventful. However Arrivals are met with shouts of Joy and happiness, arrivals make all happy and excited for a future where all are involved.
On our departure lists are the likes of Andre Pretorius (seems he is out for yet another season), Willem Alberts (huge Loss), Louis Ludik (yet another sad loss), Ethienne Reynecke, Willie Wepener, Dewald Senekal, Gerhard Mostert, Ernst Joubert, JP Joubert, and to me the biggest heartbreak and killer blow is the loss of “The Ghost”, and just to make it worse is the fact that he moved to those blue striped wearing poefte dust storm known as the Stormers, EISH. They will all be missed and we thank them all for contributing to the Lions Franchise. True, this is sad but let’s forget about them as easily as Scottytoohotty does his conquest and look towards what we have coming in:
Our arrivals list is as follows:
Hanyani Shimange (ball wrecking front rower of note), Jacques Lombaard (100kg+ Lock from Griquas if I am not mistaken), George Earl, Thabo Mamojele, Jonathan Mokuena, Carlos Spencer, Burton Francis, Deon Van Rensburg, Marius Delport, Tonderai Chavhanga.
Now the big cheese amongst the crackers is King Carlos himself, woohoo – he will fool you, amaze you and hurt you all without even looking at you, and yes he is now a LION! With moves cooler than Lt. Horatio Caine putting on his glasses and smoother than Scottytoohotty pulling the birds one cannot shake with utter excitement at what the Lions will produce. Other such Blue Bulls Steals, Griques acquisitions and others just looking for better opportunities will only fortify what is soon to be an unstoppable rugby force.
Seems that Captain courageous Cobus “Baywatch” Grobbelaar will still be our Captain (thank goodness). This flank that embodies what it means to be a Lion is the heart of our team, pumping the life force to the others, that being hope, encouragement and pure passion. He is our heart, Dicky is our brain (hehehehe), King Carlos our creativity, the rest of the boys our strength and you (and me, supporters that is) the gees that binds it all together!
Provisional squad is as follows: many thanks to sarugby.com:
Earl Lewis, Marius Delport, Alwyn Hollenbach, Walter Venter, Trompie Nontshinga, Herkie Kruger, Alex Kock, Todd Clever, Thabo Mamojele, Johan van Deventer, Willem Stoltz, George Earl, Ross Geldenhuys, Hanyani Shimange, JC Janse van Rensburg, Hans van Dyk, Gert Muller, David Bulbring, Robert Kruger, Ruan Boshoff, Jannie Boshoff, Justin St Jerry, Pieter Engelbrecht, Henno Mentz, Shandre Frolick, Rouan Cloete, Michael Killian, Dusty Noble, Deon Van Rensburg, Doppies la Grange, Wandile Mjekevu, Carlos Spencer, Chris Jonck, Jonathan Mokuena, Franco van der Merwe, Cobus Grobbelaar, Nico Luus, Jannes Labuschagne, Kevin Buys, Hannes Franklin, Heinke van der Merwe, Charles Enslie, Lawrence Sephaka, Jacques Lombaard, Derrick Minnie, JP Joubert, Burton Francis, Wigan Pekeur, Tonderai Chavhanga, Earl Rose, Danie Crous.
PREDICTIONS:
Well this is the part of the article which gets my blood boiling, heart pumping and Benoni upbringing out in full force. I got angry reading predictions from all about that the Lions boys will be the losers and bottom feeders of the log. Yes I was angry and ready to smash someone like a Bokburg Breker smashing a Soutie ofter one too many Polisie Koffies. Let them think of us like that at their own peril for I now give you the Scottytoohotty prediction:
We shall start off with a scintillating performance against the poefte dust storm, make a wonderful welcoming mat out of those pussy Cheetahs, Rearrange the Hurricanes pretty hair styles, Braai some delicious Brumbies steaks, re-colour the baby blue Waratahs tops to red, smash the Deanless Crusaders, behead the Highlanders, make the Reds think they were Blues, Use the Guppies as shark bait, slaughter the Bulls, Crush the Force and hammer the Blues, cruise through the Semis and be triumphant in the Finals. Simple, effective and devastating.
Here are our fixtures for the upcoming Super14 competition:
Saturday: February 13: v Stormers, home
Friday: February 19: v Cheetahs, home
Saturday: February 27: v Hurricanes, away
Friday: March 5: v Brumbies, away
Friday: March 12: v Waratahs, away
Saturday: March 20: v Crusaders, away
Friday: March 26: v Highlanders, away
Saturday: April 10: v Reds, home
Saturday: April 17: v Sharks, home
Saturday: April 24: v Bulls, away
Saturday: May 1: v WesternForce, home
Saturday: May 8: v Blues, home
Saturday: May 15: v Cheetahs, away
WRAP-UP:
Well peeps, that’s me done, another passionate and awe inspiring article (did you expecting anything less?) done and dusted. We have plenty to look forward, just like a spoilt kid on Christmas Eve. The Lions are ready and willing to impress, dazzle mystifying and bring home the much needed victory that we are so due.
To all you Sharks, Bulle, Cheetahs and Province supporters out there, best of luck to you all but be afraid, be terrified for these Lions are chasing you down quicker than a Leb and all his chinas. Sharks, swim for safety, Bulle – cower in your pens, Cheetahs – run away like never before and Stormer – blow out quicker than your ladies of the night for the Lions are heading for VICTORY!
Rock on peeps and please stayed tuned for the Lions pre match summary against the Stormers.
Scottytoohotty
Saint you asked for it , yes i respect your view , only because you have the right to it. Read this about Casper Steyn. Yes he served us (Bulle) well so i would not put him in your 15. His name appears in the record books for the right reasons, that enough for me.
A neck injury may force Pumas veteran Casper Steyn to quit rugby immediately.
The likeable 32-year-old fullback heard this morning that his neck injury is more serious than first thought and has been advised by doctors to stop playing rugby.
“I’m still in a bit of shock,” a despondent Steyn told keo.co.za. “I got the call this morning and the specialist (Dr Pieter Kritzinger) said it would be very dangerous for me to continue playing.”
Steyn, one of the true gentlemen of the game and always with a smile on his face, has been playing first-class rugby for more than a decade. He was aiming to retire gracefully at the end of this season or next. “If this is the end, this is not the way I wanted to end it all.”
Steyn fractured his cheekbone against Free State and at the same time experienced pain in his neck. “When I got that shot in the head it felt strange, but I didn’t feel it was that serious and it actually wasn’t that painful. When I went for X-rays for my cheek I told the doctor about my neck and they found two squashed discs. One more knock could be very serious for me.”
At the height of his powers, Steyn was both a fast, evasive runner and a strong tackler. He played in all eleven of the Vodacom Super 12 matches for the Bulls in 1998.
In 1999 Steyn scored a massive 384 points for the Bulls or Blue Bulls. He currently holds the Pumas and Blue Bulls Absa Currie Cup season points records.
Coach Chris Grobler told keo.co.za: “I fear Casper may be out of rugby forever. Any injury of the neck is bad. He has a problem between his C5 and C6 vertebrae. It is a major blow to us as Casper brought his experience and kicking abilities. We will have to discuss his future soon and make a decision.”
By Andrew Hollely
Superbul…
Your point being?
I respect the fact that his career was cut short and that he is a nice guy, that however does not change my estimation. I happen to know Pierre Uys quite well too, he is one of the nicest people I know, still…facts are fact.
Superbul
Hope springs eternal……………………
Once a Lion……………………………
Ref’s were against us…………………..
We were robbed…………………………
Snatched defeat from the jaws of victory….
Time to rebuild………………………..
Maybe next year………………………..
The Exco’ must go………………………
The coach has no idea…………………..
Vark the beer’s expensive and warm……….
Sh1t, the toilets are still cr@p…………
Let them go, we don’t need superstars…….
Best stadium for atmosphere (when full)…..
Have you seen the new jersey?……………
Some of the rubbish (or not) I hear as a die hard Lions fan.
All I know is that trying to get business done with the GLRU (at certain levels at least) is just that TRYING. Answers are slow in coming (if at all), and unprofessionally prepared and communicated.
There are always a multitude of excuses, but unfortunately I’ve heard the same drivel for 4 years now.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, a Rugby Union should be run professionally from the top to the BOTTOM.
If the people in positions are incapable, follow best business practice and get rid of them.
As my late Father told me, “there are none so blind as the devout”
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