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Jim Telfer

jimtelferThe snow is deep and crisp and dangerously uneven by health and safety standards, and Jim Telfer is barking out instructions like a rugby regimental sergeant major.

‘Cookie’s a big b*****d,’ Telfer bellows. ‘He thinks he’s tough, OK. Drive him back into the bloody Tweed.’

His young charges do their best to obey against the accompaniment of the coach, who is now transported into a state of quasi-psychotic frenzy, shouting the mantra ‘low, low, low’.

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